#6 - My own dear Bettie & Jeannette: Feb 25th, 1903

Brick Haven, VA
Feb. 25, 1903

My own dear Bettie & Jeannette:

I know you have been looking for a letter from me for some time in answer to yours but it is not through neglect dear children for you are on your mother's mind continually & seldom a night that I do not dream about my darlings. Oh Bettie what a blessing to have a dear heavenly Father to carry your troubles to & one who is able & willing to hear & bear them! Continue in prayer darling one & He will surely answer some time. It does me so much good to know that you have this faith Bettie.

Janie & cousin Mary have gone in town today with the Baby. You wanted to know his name. It is John Clinton & we call him Clinton. We all make a great pet of him & he is real cute.

Dare has gone to Pittsburg again & came over to see us. He is looking well but it made me feel very bad to have him go.

Viola never writes to me anymore. I can't imagine the cause but hope she write often to you both.

May's address is 1127 9th St. N W.

Jeannette & Bettie must write to Mama again very soon. Your letters are a great comfort to me. Hope I will feel better soon & can write oftener.

With much love & many kisses, I am your devoted mother.

Alice M. Marmaduke.

  

I don't have a lot of commentary on this letter. Nearly a month has passed between letters #5 & #6. Of course, if any letters were written in the meantime, they may have been lost. 

I mentioned in my last Alice post that I wished I had more of the envelopes. Good news! Uncle Ralph (my grandmother's brother) brought over many boxes of photos & some papers. Several envelopes addressed by Alice are in a box. I believe that they match up. I need to sit down with them to confirm, but those letters will help to determine where Bettie & Jeannette were living throughout this time frame, as well as who they were living with.

A 3rd cousin (a Hilldrup!) has just responded to a letter I sent recently. One of my most important research tools is to contact any known living relatives, especially those who may have been living at the time I'm researching. There aren't many left, and those who are left may not be interested in digging up the past. But I found a goldmine of information from this cousin. He mentioned that his grandfather was sent to live with the Marmadukes (likely Alice's mother & father in-law) as a boy because his family could not afford to feed him following the war. That leads me to wonder if that is the reason Alice's children were separated from her. Was she unable to feed & care for them financially? I suppose I will have to be satisfied with that assumption without any more information.

I am thankful that Alice was unashamed of the Gospel. She boasted in the power of God's comfort and peace even while separated from her children. Reading her words about God reminds me of the verse in Hebrews. Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Amen and Amen!

#5 - My Own Darling Children - January 29, 1903

Brick Haven
Jan 29, 1903

My own darling children,

I received your very welcome letters & was delighted to hear from you & to know that you are well. We are all sick with colds & cousin Mary has been very sick, but is better again. Bettie please send me brother's address when you write again, he never writes to me & I am so anxious to hear from him & to know how he is getting along. Bettie please burn my letters as soon as you read them. I never feel like writing any more & am ashamed for anyone to see my letters. I have been sick ever since summer & am now very weak & nervous, but I think I will be better soon.

I am going to send Cousin Mary's picture, but you must not mention it in your letters for she does not want me to send it & would not like it, but I just think it is cute. The baby is much prettier than this picture. He is very interesting.

You have both improved a great deal in your writing.

Try to do the best you can children & God will do the rest & answer our prayers some day. He has seen best to separate us for a while.

Good bye darling ones. Pray often for help & comfort & all things will work around for our good some day. Write again soon to your devoted Mother.

 

Boy, am I thankful that Bettie didn't burn her mother's letters! 

This letter leads me to believe that Bettie & Jeannette are together at least. I wish I had more of the envelopes from the letters. I'm assuming that the girls are still in Belfast, NY just 20 days after Alice wrote to Bettie there (see the blog post that includes letter #3). I still don't know who they were living with at that time - maybe Uncle Eddie. The living situations will unfold some more in the coming letters, but never become entirely clear. 

Wouldn't it be fun to see the photo of Mary & the baby? I need to go through all of the photos I have in Viola's collection to see if there is anything that looks like it could be of Mary & baby Clinton Swift... 

Here is one photo that I think could definitely be of Mary Swift. I have seen a photo of Mary later in life (I posted it on a previous entry), which was added to Ancestry.com by Mary's great-grandson, and so this one compares very favorably, and seems to be a photo of Mary in her younger years. It's just a hunch though. 

How sad it must've been for Alice to spend so much time with her niece Mary & great-nephew Clinton and not be able to see her own children... It really does bother me, and I wish I knew the reason & the outcome...

#4 - Brick Haven - January 13th, 1903

Brick Haven

  
Jan 13^th, 1903

My dear darling Jeannette,

I have wanted to answer your letter before, but have so much writing to do. I have not had an opportunity sooner. I wrote to Bettie last week & hope to get an answer soon. I am miserable when I do not hear from my children regular, so please write often Jeannette.
I rec’d a letter from Vi for Xmas & a nice collar but have not answered her letter yet. I do not have much time to write, besides I have been sick. It is very cold out here & the houses are cold, but it will not be long before we will be in a home of our own to do as we please.

I have written to Bro. twice since hearing from him. Now I do not know where to write.

I will send you a picture of Cousin Mary & her Baby. She is ashamed of it, but I think it is cute don’t you?

I will have to close now, Jeannette, as Cousin Mary is waiting for me to take the baby. Write soon if not sooner to your devoted Mother.

This is one of Alice's letters that doesn't seem to have a lot of substance. It leaves me wondering several things. Where is Jeannette at this point, and who is she staying with? She is 11 years old. 

Alice seems frustrated when she says "we will be in a home of our own to do as we please." I wonder what her living situation is like with the Swifts. Are they kind to her? Do they treat her like "poor old Aunt Alice?" Alice, by the way, was only 44 when she wrote these letters. 

What kind of illness plagues Alice throughout these letters? Was it something that contributed to her death 4 years later?

I like the way Alice refers to her son Dare as "Bro", and her daughter Viola as "Vi" in many of the letters. This gives me a sense that the Marmadukes didn't relate to each other as differently as my family does today, with nicknames & all. 

#3 - My Dear Bettie - Jan 7th, 1903

Brick Haven, Va

Jan 7^th, 1903

My dear Bettie:

Your very welcome letter was duly rec’d & was very thankful of the money, but am afraid you needed it your own dear self. Never mind Bettie I think we will all be together again soon, so keep courage darling children. I know you have had a hard time and our trials have been severe, yet I know they all must be for some purpose & for our good in some way, so lets have courage to the end of the battle.

Be a good girl Bettie & do the best you can which I am sure you do. Oh Bettie,

 

I do want to see you & Jeannette so bad! I will write Jeannette soon, had intended to write tonight, but it is so late & all are getting ready for bed.

I have not seen May for some time, as the weather has been so bad I could not get to town. I rec’d a letter from Vi a  few days ago & she sent me a very pretty collar.

Bettie I will have to close with lots of love & kisses for you & my darling baby. Write soon to your devoted

Mother

Let me begin by observing several things in this letter & the prior letter from my last post.

This is letter #3 in my collection from Alice. It was written January 7, 1903, about 2 weeks after letter #2. I would imagine that there were even more letters written by Alice to her daughters, but these are what remain. 

In letter #2, Alice refers to Aunt Janie, Cousin Mary, the baby, & Cousin Johnny. Aunt Janie is Alice's sister Mary Jane Sandys, who remained unmarried until her death in 1920 at the age of 74. She was 56/57 at the time that these letters were written. From what I can tell from my research on Ancestry.com & other sites, Alice was staying with Aunt Janie in Brickhaven, Alexandria County, Virginia (I believe just outside of Washington DC). Aunt Janie also appeared to be living with her niece Mary Sanford Swift, daughter of Janie & Alice's sister Rosalie Vashtie Sandys Sanford. The Sanford name is fairly prominent in Virginia, so I will be exploring that more very soon. Mary married John Clinton Swift on December 1, 1894 in her mother's home in Stafford County, Virginia. John Clinton is called "Johnny" in these letters. 

Coincidentally (or maybe not), Alice's son Dare Marmaduke married Johnny's sister Louise Swift in 1906. Louise bore Dare 3 children, & then in 1925 she committed suicide by drinking Lysol. Yikes! So Alice had a Swift as a daughter-in-law & also as a nephew-in-law. Interesting!

Here are photos of Mary & Johnny - they were added to Ancestry.com by Louis Shomette, my awesome 3rd cousin 2x removed that I have collaborated with some on Ancestry.com. 

 

Anyway, back to the letters... I do have the envelope from this particular letter, which shows that Bettie & probably Jeannette were living in Belfast, NY. It is my belief that they were living with their Uncle Eddie (as future letters may hint) in New York. I'm currently going through the US phone directories to pin down where Uncle Eddie was living in 1902 & 1903. I know that he was in Brooklyn, Kings, New York in 1910, and had married a woman from New York in 1901/2, so I'm safely assuming that he was living in New York in 1902/3. I'll keep looking though. 

This letter & the one previous emphasizes the desperation in Alice Marmaduke over not being with her children. As a mother of a toddler myself, I cannot imagine the heartache of being separated from my child, especially in circumstances beyond my own control. Heartbreaking! 

The next letters are much more interesting, so stay tuned!

-Julie