#6 - My own dear Bettie & Jeannette: Feb 25th, 1903

Brick Haven, VA
Feb. 25, 1903

My own dear Bettie & Jeannette:

I know you have been looking for a letter from me for some time in answer to yours but it is not through neglect dear children for you are on your mother's mind continually & seldom a night that I do not dream about my darlings. Oh Bettie what a blessing to have a dear heavenly Father to carry your troubles to & one who is able & willing to hear & bear them! Continue in prayer darling one & He will surely answer some time. It does me so much good to know that you have this faith Bettie.

Janie & cousin Mary have gone in town today with the Baby. You wanted to know his name. It is John Clinton & we call him Clinton. We all make a great pet of him & he is real cute.

Dare has gone to Pittsburg again & came over to see us. He is looking well but it made me feel very bad to have him go.

Viola never writes to me anymore. I can't imagine the cause but hope she write often to you both.

May's address is 1127 9th St. N W.

Jeannette & Bettie must write to Mama again very soon. Your letters are a great comfort to me. Hope I will feel better soon & can write oftener.

With much love & many kisses, I am your devoted mother.

Alice M. Marmaduke.

  

I don't have a lot of commentary on this letter. Nearly a month has passed between letters #5 & #6. Of course, if any letters were written in the meantime, they may have been lost. 

I mentioned in my last Alice post that I wished I had more of the envelopes. Good news! Uncle Ralph (my grandmother's brother) brought over many boxes of photos & some papers. Several envelopes addressed by Alice are in a box. I believe that they match up. I need to sit down with them to confirm, but those letters will help to determine where Bettie & Jeannette were living throughout this time frame, as well as who they were living with.

A 3rd cousin (a Hilldrup!) has just responded to a letter I sent recently. One of my most important research tools is to contact any known living relatives, especially those who may have been living at the time I'm researching. There aren't many left, and those who are left may not be interested in digging up the past. But I found a goldmine of information from this cousin. He mentioned that his grandfather was sent to live with the Marmadukes (likely Alice's mother & father in-law) as a boy because his family could not afford to feed him following the war. That leads me to wonder if that is the reason Alice's children were separated from her. Was she unable to feed & care for them financially? I suppose I will have to be satisfied with that assumption without any more information.

I am thankful that Alice was unashamed of the Gospel. She boasted in the power of God's comfort and peace even while separated from her children. Reading her words about God reminds me of the verse in Hebrews. Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Amen and Amen!

#5 - My Own Darling Children - January 29, 1903

Brick Haven
Jan 29, 1903

My own darling children,

I received your very welcome letters & was delighted to hear from you & to know that you are well. We are all sick with colds & cousin Mary has been very sick, but is better again. Bettie please send me brother's address when you write again, he never writes to me & I am so anxious to hear from him & to know how he is getting along. Bettie please burn my letters as soon as you read them. I never feel like writing any more & am ashamed for anyone to see my letters. I have been sick ever since summer & am now very weak & nervous, but I think I will be better soon.

I am going to send Cousin Mary's picture, but you must not mention it in your letters for she does not want me to send it & would not like it, but I just think it is cute. The baby is much prettier than this picture. He is very interesting.

You have both improved a great deal in your writing.

Try to do the best you can children & God will do the rest & answer our prayers some day. He has seen best to separate us for a while.

Good bye darling ones. Pray often for help & comfort & all things will work around for our good some day. Write again soon to your devoted Mother.

 

Boy, am I thankful that Bettie didn't burn her mother's letters! 

This letter leads me to believe that Bettie & Jeannette are together at least. I wish I had more of the envelopes from the letters. I'm assuming that the girls are still in Belfast, NY just 20 days after Alice wrote to Bettie there (see the blog post that includes letter #3). I still don't know who they were living with at that time - maybe Uncle Eddie. The living situations will unfold some more in the coming letters, but never become entirely clear. 

Wouldn't it be fun to see the photo of Mary & the baby? I need to go through all of the photos I have in Viola's collection to see if there is anything that looks like it could be of Mary & baby Clinton Swift... 

Here is one photo that I think could definitely be of Mary Swift. I have seen a photo of Mary later in life (I posted it on a previous entry), which was added to Ancestry.com by Mary's great-grandson, and so this one compares very favorably, and seems to be a photo of Mary in her younger years. It's just a hunch though. 

How sad it must've been for Alice to spend so much time with her niece Mary & great-nephew Clinton and not be able to see her own children... It really does bother me, and I wish I knew the reason & the outcome...

#3 - My Dear Bettie - Jan 7th, 1903

Brick Haven, Va

Jan 7^th, 1903

My dear Bettie:

Your very welcome letter was duly rec’d & was very thankful of the money, but am afraid you needed it your own dear self. Never mind Bettie I think we will all be together again soon, so keep courage darling children. I know you have had a hard time and our trials have been severe, yet I know they all must be for some purpose & for our good in some way, so lets have courage to the end of the battle.

Be a good girl Bettie & do the best you can which I am sure you do. Oh Bettie,

 

I do want to see you & Jeannette so bad! I will write Jeannette soon, had intended to write tonight, but it is so late & all are getting ready for bed.

I have not seen May for some time, as the weather has been so bad I could not get to town. I rec’d a letter from Vi a  few days ago & she sent me a very pretty collar.

Bettie I will have to close with lots of love & kisses for you & my darling baby. Write soon to your devoted

Mother

Let me begin by observing several things in this letter & the prior letter from my last post.

This is letter #3 in my collection from Alice. It was written January 7, 1903, about 2 weeks after letter #2. I would imagine that there were even more letters written by Alice to her daughters, but these are what remain. 

In letter #2, Alice refers to Aunt Janie, Cousin Mary, the baby, & Cousin Johnny. Aunt Janie is Alice's sister Mary Jane Sandys, who remained unmarried until her death in 1920 at the age of 74. She was 56/57 at the time that these letters were written. From what I can tell from my research on Ancestry.com & other sites, Alice was staying with Aunt Janie in Brickhaven, Alexandria County, Virginia (I believe just outside of Washington DC). Aunt Janie also appeared to be living with her niece Mary Sanford Swift, daughter of Janie & Alice's sister Rosalie Vashtie Sandys Sanford. The Sanford name is fairly prominent in Virginia, so I will be exploring that more very soon. Mary married John Clinton Swift on December 1, 1894 in her mother's home in Stafford County, Virginia. John Clinton is called "Johnny" in these letters. 

Coincidentally (or maybe not), Alice's son Dare Marmaduke married Johnny's sister Louise Swift in 1906. Louise bore Dare 3 children, & then in 1925 she committed suicide by drinking Lysol. Yikes! So Alice had a Swift as a daughter-in-law & also as a nephew-in-law. Interesting!

Here are photos of Mary & Johnny - they were added to Ancestry.com by Louis Shomette, my awesome 3rd cousin 2x removed that I have collaborated with some on Ancestry.com. 

 

Anyway, back to the letters... I do have the envelope from this particular letter, which shows that Bettie & probably Jeannette were living in Belfast, NY. It is my belief that they were living with their Uncle Eddie (as future letters may hint) in New York. I'm currently going through the US phone directories to pin down where Uncle Eddie was living in 1902 & 1903. I know that he was in Brooklyn, Kings, New York in 1910, and had married a woman from New York in 1901/2, so I'm safely assuming that he was living in New York in 1902/3. I'll keep looking though. 

This letter & the one previous emphasizes the desperation in Alice Marmaduke over not being with her children. As a mother of a toddler myself, I cannot imagine the heartache of being separated from my child, especially in circumstances beyond my own control. Heartbreaking! 

The next letters are much more interesting, so stay tuned!

-Julie

#2 - My dear darling Bettie - Dec 25, 1902

Brick Haven, Alex Co., Va. 

Dec 25th 1902. 

My dear darling Bettie, 

I rec'd your very nice letter some time ago but have been sick & could not answer sooner. This is Xmas day & cousin Mary & Aunt Janie have gone to Mrs. Swift's to spend the day, but there is no pleasure for me Bettie except with my children, anywhere, or at any time. I enclose a letter to Jeannette, as she wrote in her last that she expected to be with you soon.
 

Please write me everything Bettie about yourself & Jeannette and just as soon as you receive this as I am so anxious to hear from you. Cousin Mary has a darling little baby. He is very smart & pretty. Cousin Johnny's health is very poor & is sick all the time. 

I can only write you a short letter this time Bettie as I have a number to write and will not have time again. So hoping to hear from you. 

I am as ever, Your devoted Mother 

 PS. please send me a stamp in your next Bettie if you have one.

#1 - My dear darling Jeannette

This is the 1st in a collection of a dozen letters written by Alice Sandy Marmaduke. I am sure that they are a fragment of what must have been many more letters, but they do give us a glimpse of the Marmaduke family in 1902 & 1903. Because of Alice's vague language, I can only guess at some of the underlying struggles going on within the family. These letters are what first attracted me to the Marmaduke family, and what drew me in to take a deeper look at my ancestors.

Let me first introduce you to Alice May Sandy Marmaduke. Born August 9, 1858 in Essex Co, Virginia, Alice was born to a family who could trace themselves to original settlers of Virginia (more information on that in another letter). I have no records of her childhood aside from the 1860 census. Her father Edward is listed in the 1870 census, but the rest of the family is missing. The 1880 census curiously shows Alice & her sister Mary Jane living with their older brother, Edward M. Sandy, in Washington DC. Alice was 22 at the time, and her mother had passed away several years earlier. 

Alice married James Berkeley Marmaduke in 1881, and their marriage was recorded in the newspaper & can be found in the Washington DC health department marriage records. The interesting thing is that my family has their original marriage certificate, which is in a glass frame. I am trying to find it, and will scan & share it when I do. 

The Marmadukes made their home in Spotsylvania County, Virginia. 

Alice & Berkeley's first child, a son named Andrew Dare, was born nearly 9 months to the day of their marriage! He was followed by 4 daughters, Ada Viola, May Croxton, Bettie Gordon, & Jeannette. 

Alice became a very young widow on December 26, 1892. The circumstances of Berkeley's death are still unknown to me. 

We pick up the story about 10 years later, in 1902. In the 1900 census, 4 of the 5 children were living in Spotsylvania with their mother near the Hilldrup, Wenger, & Mason families (I believe off of Old Plank Road). But things have changed in just 2 years. In late 1902, Alice Marmaduke's children are all living apart from her and apparently all apart from each other. Jeannette was just 10 years old at the time. I cannot imagine what it is that separated this family, and as the coming letters will show, it seems that it is outside of Alice's control. 

Below is the 1st letter in our collection. My hope is to post the entire collection of letters in a set of blog posts over the next few weeks. This one has very little substance, but does provide us some context clues - date, Alice's location, Dare's location... 

 

Spotsylvania Co. Va,

Oct 27^th 1902

My dear darling Jeannette

I am so anxious to hear from you & to know how you are getting along. Please write to me at once Jeannette.

I rec’d a letter from May a few days ago. She is well & doing well.

Dare is in Fredericksburg & is well. Jeannette will you please send me Bettie’s address. I can’t understand why she does not write sometimes.

I cannot write much this time, but if you will ans this right away I will try to write you a long letter & give you all the news.

I am as ever

Your devoted Mother

2^nd page: “I will send you Mamma’s letter” – presumably written by Jeannette or Bettie. 

Well, that's all for tonight. More of Alice's letters to come!